Note I say publish. Print is so antiquated these days. So very analog.
It's been a wacky wild week--so much has happened. Last Thursday and Friday I was out from work all day for a leadership training class. It was very cool: I finally got some management tools I can use. The class was held by an external vendor who came in and had us in a closed room for two solid days. We went over conflict management, giving feedback, and a number of other relationship management tools. It was great!
Next, we had a three-day weekend (we got MLK day off). The weekend itself was uneventful: I got caught up on school (it's the last week of this class). On Monday, however, I decided to do a "While you were out" episode at home. Dawn and I have been trying to clean out our pantry for about 6 months or so now and Monday I just decided to get it done. I went to the Container Store, found some elfa shelves (30% off until Feb 6) and brought them all home and installed them. When Dawn got home, she went in for cat snacks and was quite surprised to see new shelves where once were wood 2x4s. We still need to organize the food better, but the pantry is now much better looking and accessible.
Then, the weird thing happened. Maybe it was something I ate in a hurry that day (I also didn't each much and worked really hard during the day) but Monday evening I started feeling very sick. My energy dropped and my body decided to rid itself of everything food-like in it. My temperature started to rise (the highest was 100.5). I woke up every hour on the hour that night to take my temp and spend some thoughtful time in the restroom. TMI, sorry.
Tuesday I stayed home sick. And I slept. Like a rock. Usually when I am sick, I still putter around and watch tv. But, I slept from 9am until 11:30am. Dawn came home and then I slept from 12:30pm until 4pm. Finally, after that, I woke up for part of the evening. I've been eating a little more. Today I'm at work but very tired and groggy.
I've realized that recently I've been sick twice and I find that odd. I also notice that everytime I start working out intently something comes along to derail it. This morning I ate a yogurt (to get protein) and under the lid there was a code for entering a contest, so I went to the site it indicated. Not a winner, but I checked out the body mass index calculator to see where I was. Sadly, and I've seen this a lot lately too, I am just inside the low end of "obese" for my height and weight. This is disconcerting. Now, I don't think I LOOK obese (unless I am really deluding myself), but according to several of these charts I am. Yet, each time I start working out I get derailed.
Nevertheless, there is a silver lining to being sick yesterday. In the past, and for many years, I've always immediately run to the doctor to get antibiotics or whatnot. This time, I let my body do its thing--like I did for the Cedar Wars a few weeks ago. And, I've healed myself this way: using the natural defenses my body has. This is a good thing.
Now, couple that with my recent revelations and the phrase my brother so eloquently summed them up with: "People don't see further than 50 feet in front of their face", and I think I have an answer. If I trust myself, which is what I believe this lesson is all about, and stop expecting immediate results, this intense pattern of work-out, illness, rest, and so on is a reversal of the old energies that got me here in the first place. When you concentrate on the "illness" it's easy to think I'm going nowhere. However, when I think of the body as activating its natural powers--powers I have repressed through the use of medicines and so on--this is a great thing. My body is using its true natural energy to heal and strengthen so it can accommodate the energy needed for working out and health.
So, ultimately, I am becoming more active, and my body is recognizing it and activating what it needs. I am trusting it more: using vitamin c and stuff instead of antibiotics and drugs to find my natural health. I think I'll continue trusting it and not stress about where I am right now, but what I want to feel right now. There is a difference.
In any case, I am going to get moving on the work. Thanks to everyone for the scholastic feedback. A point of confirmation: when I graduated from SAC in 1995 with my AA degree, when I was walking the stage I got called "Michelle" Friedman instead of Michael. Although corrected, I vowed never to walk the stage again. In my leadership class on Thursday, the instructor called me Michelle again. Subtle reminder. I like the decision to not walk the stage. Maybe I'll go visit nes and trev. And buy a much needed XBox or something. :D
Dec. 28, 2011 - Day 656
6 years ago